Having been together for almost four years now, one of the things Dave and I have been trying to master is having a normal, healthy relationship with opposite work schedules. I have a typical 9 to 5 job, whereas Dave’s schedule is bit more complex. He works evenings on the weekdays and throughout the weekends. At first our opposite schedules really bothered me (and sometimes they still do) but now that we’ve figured out how to make the best of it, I’m quite used to it. And I’m not going to lie, it isn’t always easy, but we are intentional in making it work for the both of us. I think we’ve realized that we have a lot of good happening because of our opposite schedules, and that’s key. Here are some tips for maintaining a relationship with opposite work schedules:

1.) Take advantage of your time off.

Whenever we get time together we make sure that we are focused on one another. There’s always time to flip through Instagram, there will always be emails to answer, and Netflix will still be there… however, time together is sparing. We take advantage of our time together by having meals at the table instead of on the couch in front of the TV. This is what I look forward to most evenings, catching up and talking about our days.

2.) Meet half way.

I’ve learned that relationships are all about compromise. Dave will often have a few hours free in between games or practices. We’ll meet at coffee shops that are located half way between where he is and where I am. That way, it’s easier on both of us and allows for a quick, spontaneous date.

3.) Focus on you and your hobbies.

Create your own community so that you’re not relying on each other 100% of the time. When Dave is away on the weekends coaching, it can get lonely every now and again. To avoid those feelings, I’ve realized it’s important for me to find other things to do, like: going to Meetup groups, cleaning out my closet, calling up a friend for coffee, listening to music, baking, etc. When you come back together it’s really fun to share your separate passions, hobbies, and experiences with one another.

4.) Schedule and plan your date nights.

I love having something to look forward to, so we’ll plan a date night once a week. We’ll be talking about which restaurants we want to go to, (usually it’s Thai) or sometimes it’s early morning brunch, a late night movie, a walk around our apartment complex, or a trip to the mall.

5.) But don’t schedule too much…

Knowing Dave has a more complex schedule, I try to leave my schedule semi-open so that I can be flexible to his and he does the same for me. If some free time opens up unexpectedly, we make sure we are available for one another.

6.) Sacrifice.

So you know how I mentioned I look forward to having dinner together? Well, dinner doesn’t start until 9:30 p.m. Which to me, is kind of late, and my tummy is grumbling by then, but I’d rather wait up and eat dinner together than eat separately. It’s all about sacrifice.

7.) Little gestures.

Thank goodness we have cell phones. We love sending each other texts throughout the day, even if we’re busy, a simple “Thinking of you” text is always heart warming.

8.) Be close.

If Dave has an away game, I love hopping in the car for the ride with him. It’s extra time together and just being in the same space is always nice.

9.) Remember the pros.

With opposite schedules, we can tackle everyday household chores at different hours of the day that are more convenient for us. It helps keep everything a little more balanced and in order.

I’d love to hear from you guys. Are any of you in relationships where you work opposite schedules? How do you manage it?